Cultivating self esteem and self confidence: a worthy head start

WRITTEN BY: KHUSHALI HARKHANI CLASS OF 2024

Building a good self-esteem and self-confidence are important to live a good life.

What is the Meaning of Self-Esteem and Self Confidence and how do these qualities influence each other?

Self-esteem is generally a person's overall sense of how worthy he counts himself to be. We can considered it as a of measure of how much a person likes himself or how a person perceives himself.

Whereas Self-confidence is believing in yourself and trusting yourself that you can get through any situation that comes towards you and it can change according to outer environmental experiences.

Building a good self-esteem is necessary to have the self­ -confidence that helps you with life's challenges so that you participate in things you find enjoyable and rewarding with a better approach.

How does having low self-esteem and low self-confidence affect you in daily life?

When you have low self-esteem or low self-confidence, you feel that when you come across one negative or disappointing experience, it can start making you think you're worthless or you're good for nothing which makes you more scared for trying again as you don't believe in your abilities of overcoming it and start a self perpetuating cycle of negative pep talks stating how one of a kind loser you are thus leading to disappointing outcomes.

For example you're learning a new subject, if you're lacking self-esteem and while giving a test you receive low marks you may start thinking," I'm stupid and I can't get anything right" making you want to stop learning already.

Now if you have healthy self-esteem and receive a low mark, you may think, "Hmmm, I should've studied better and should learn from my mistakes to do better next time."Thus you will be affected by the result but you'll take it in a positive way and won't start hating yourself for it.

Having low self confidence results in

• Shyness

• Communication difficulties about how

• one feels

• Social anxiety

• Being submissive to others

• Feeling inferior

• Not able to take a stand for oneself

Low self-esteem causes you to develop a strong internal critic that expresses itself loudly when you're feeling anxious, overwhelmed or judged by others causing you to:

• Have negative self talks

• Ignore your strengths and abilities

• Not accepting your mistakes as a

• lesson

• Being hard on yourself

• Expect that only failures will occur

• Avoiding challenges with the fear of

• being judged

• Think that you're undeserving of love

• and fun in your life

This can affect your life and your overall performance in university also it can meddle in your relationships and make it difficult to rely on people or yourself. So cultivating self esteem and self confidence is needed to overcome the negative thoughts and negative pep talks you give yourself and this is how you must try to build them:

PRACTICING SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Becoming more accepting of yourself helps you to feel confident in your own skin in any situation. Everyone tends to make mistakes it's inevitable. Thus, by practising self-acceptance you can:

• Make mistakes and not criticize yourself instead learn from it

• Identify ways on how you can solve the issues differently

• Be critical of your behaviour and try to change it without being critical of yourself

• You can let people appreciate you genuinely and believe the compliments for real

• You start loving yourself and seeing you for who you really are behind the criticism

• You enjoy life more have more fun and start feeling worthy.

KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS

Start journaling of experiences or thoughts that affect on your self- confidence or self-esteem. Identify your strengths, abilities and accomplishments. Be honest about what makes you a better person and what qualities you should improve .

Do an introspection of what behaviour you're sensitive to and what is the cause of it and how you'll overcome it.

LEARN TO BE MORE POSITIVE

Direct your thoughts in a positive direction and not take the negative self talks and excessive criticism into account.

Instead build strong belief in your morals and yourself.

BE MORE AWARE OF YOUR OWN NEEDS

Don't feel bad about putting your needs before others. Practice saying "no" when you're not comfortable doing the told work.

Make room for guilt free actions and allowing yourself to ask for what you actually need.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD COMPANY

Spend time with people who see you as you are and accept you just the way you are. And instead of feeling inferior to them be inspired by them or ask for help.

Communicate freely about how you feel and how they make you feel.

Don't be surrounded by those who criticize you all the time.

CELEBRATE YOURSELF

Do self care. Be more kind towards yourself. Be proud of your accomplishments. Start by seeing good in you. Write down the good qualities you have and read it everyday.

More importantly fill your cup with love, light and peace.

Thus cultivating these qualities and values may help you get a good head start in any field you approach making your life easy by helping you with your mental and social wellbeing and leading a peaceful life.